A Pitiful Child's Final Battle
by SilverSeeds
Summary: As Eren's body is breaking down rapidly, he and everyone else must prepare for what will be his final battle. (Long Author's Notes, actual fanfic 2300 words). Rated T for swearing. Character deaths. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

Rated T for swearing.

* * *

"Is Eren still sleeping?"

"…Yeah…"

"…Are you going to cry, Hanji?"

"Haha…I just might, Levi…I just might."

Levi glances over at the door leading to Eren's room, and then looks back to Hanji, who is crouching on the ground, hugging her knees.

"He…still hasn't healed. It's been one week since you cut his feet off to drag him outta his Titan form, but…they still haven't grown back. He's hardly even breathing…"

Slowly walking to Hanji's side, Levi turns his back to the wall and leans back, his shoulders hitting the cold bricks softly.

"But he is alive. He probably won't heal anymore, but…" Levi notices Hanji's shoulders twitching, but continues anyway. "But we can at least use him one more time."

Usually, Hanji would have gotten upset and retorted. But today, all Levi can hear is her sniffling and sobbing.

"…Please…don't say that…please don't say it **like that**…"

Hanji continues crying, while Levi stands next to her, staring at the opposite wall. He can pretty much guess what she is thinking at the moment, but before he can think of how to deal with it, Hanji speaks up in a muffled, nasal voice.

"Is…is this…h-how Erwin always feels?"

_Sigh…I knew it._

"If Erwin reacted to every casualty like you right now, then he wouldn't hold his current position."

"I **know**! I **_know_** that sacrifices must be made. But Eren isn't even 20 yet…just how much does that poor child need to go through…**before**…"

"**Before he dies**? Listen, Hanji. That kid is just fighting like every other fucking soldier. He used his bloody power to fight, and that's causing him to die, but it's not like you sent him to his death. So don't try to comfort yourself by claiming to relate to Erwin's pain. You and I should **both** know very well that _no one_ can understand his feelings…_no one_ can share his guilt of giving the orders which might lead hundreds of soldiers to their deaths."

"You don't understand, Levi! I should have understood Eren's power the most…**I thought I did**. But I had no idea at all….what he had to go through because of it…hell, I didn't even realise how much using the power **messes up his body**! **If only I realised!** If only I didn't repeatedly make him participate in those _stupid experiments_…If…if only I didn't see how **_bravely_** he always fights…"

"…That's not bravery, it's just desperation."

"You're wrong!"

Hanji finally looks up. Her tears which had briefly stopped start again, but she looks straight at Levi, pressing him to do the same. As tears stream endlessly down her face, Hanji speaks in a low but firm tone.

"I used to think that it was painful being weak; being unable to fight. But watching Eren, I finally realised…_just how excruciating it is_…when you **have** the power to fight, but you can't even **_protect_** those precious to you. But Eren acknowledges that pain! **He acknowledges it and fights**! That's **_strength_**, Levi. He's a strong child and a **_brave_** child."

They continue staring at each other for a while, before Hanji starts wiping her dripping face with her sleeves, and stands up to leave.

"You're too attached to the kid."

Hanji turns back to look at Levi, pauses, and then replies.

"Are you talking about me, or yourself?"

She turns around again and marches down the corridor.

_Levi you idiot…pretending you don't care about that child. I can tell, you and I both feel responsible for his life…__**for playing around with that child's life**__. His life didn't need to end up this way, but we brought him into this, and lead him around like livestock. Even if we try to cover it up with pretty words like "comrade" or "friend", in the end we used him for his power. And now he's going to die because of that…_

_Sigh…_

_Even though you, Levi, of all people, can relate to Eren's pain the most._

* * *

**Author's Note  
**

Thank you for reading :) I'm not sure if I'm confident in this chapter, but I think I like it ;3 I hope you liked it as much as I do!

Having said that, I do feel that maybe I have tried to shove too many ideas into it at once. I sorta tried to touch on Eren's suffering, Erwin's suffering, Hanji's suffering and Levi's suffering...but I haven't included _any kind_ of detail what so ever about any of them _sufferings..._ lol... (except that Eren is dying because of his Titan power). I wonder if Hanji ever has times like this, when she isn't acting all crazy, but actually shows some more sentimental and humane emotions.

At this point I should point out that I have NOT read SnK manga, and therefore a lot of things won't make sense, but please just turn a blind eye. Also, I'm pretty bad at keeping characters in character, so sorry for the OOCness. Actually, sorry for a lot of things.

Regarding the title, "A Pitiful Child's Final Battle", I'm not sure what to think of the word "pitiful"...because the Japanese words that I had in mind were 'aware-na' or 'kawaisou', which are often translated as 'pitiful' or 'pitiable'. In my opinion, 'pitiable' is the better choice because 'pitiful' kind of implies 'looking down on [someone]', but according to the dictionary they both mean 'evoking pity', which is exactly the meaning I want; that it evokes pity from the reader towards the character. So in the end I went with 'pitiful' because it seems like a more..._normal_ word than 'pitiable', but I would be very interested in finding out what others think of this. Which word is more suitable? To you, do they mean the same thing or not? etc...

Once again, THANK YOU, and I hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**

Rated T for swearing.

* * *

After Hanji leaves, Levi clicks his tongue and leans forward to pull his weight off the wall.

_As if I need you to remind me..._

He opens the door to Eren's room and tries to walk in quietly, only to notice that Eren's eyes are open.

"Tsk."

"...Oh, Corporal...Good morning..."

"What the hell do you mean 'morning'? It's almost evening you stupid brat."

"...Ahaha, my apologies. It was so...warm and comfortable...that I slept too soundly..."

Levi looks at the open window, where the sun's golden glow from the distance can be seen and felt. Hanji must have opened it.

"You've got guts to be taking such a long nap when your superiors are working hard, huh. Bet you had some pretty sweet dreams."

"...Well, certainly better dreams than when...I slept in the basement... It's all thanks to you, Corporal...that I was...swapped...to such a nice room..."

Levi lets out a sigh at how weakly Eren is speaking. He can clearly see Eren struggling to take in a breath before each sentence. He tried to stay realistic, but still, every time when it's been a while since he talked to Eren, he is caught by surprise. No matter how many times it happens he just can't get used to it.

"Tch. Stupid brat, becoming so bloody cheeky over these past few years."

"...Haha...is...is that the only way I've...changed?..."

Caught by surprise, Levi hesitates for a moment before pulling a chair over and sitting down. It was tiring talking and looking down at the kid the whole time, but more importantly, he didn't want to make Eren too aware of this, or else it would remind him of the fact that he was too weak to sit up.

"What? Do you wanna be spoiled, stupid brat?"

"...Ahaha...maybe...I do..."

Levi sits there for a while, looking at Eren as the boy's cloudy eyes seem to lose focus. Just as he seems to give up on expecting an answer, Levi takes in a deep breath.

"You're strong, Eren. For the stupid brat that you are, you're strong…and brave."

"…Haha…"

Eren's cloudy eyes begin to feel hot and watery, and soon two endless streams of tears are flowing down the sides of his face. He pulls his hands out from under the blanket to wipe his face, but the tears just keep flowing.

"…Haha…"

"Oi, stop doing that stupid laugh. It's pissing me off."

"…Hahaha…Corporal, I'm not strong…at all…Squad Leader Hanji said that…I acknowledge my pain and continue…to fight, but Corporal, you…of all people…must be suffering the…most…you…must have…had the most…taken…away from you…Compared to you, what…I've lost…is nothing…"

"Don't say 'nothing'. Isn't that rude to those childhood friends of yours?"

"…I…I couldn't _protect __**them**_…so I…**_lost_**…them…but Corporal…you've lost so much…more…"

"You fucking listen Eren, '**suffering**' is **not** something that can be _compared_. There is no winning or losing when it comes to pain. You were listening to Hanji and me talking just now, right? Hanji suffers, and Erwin suffers. I said that Erwin has a lot more to deal with, but that doesn't mean that Hanji's pain is insignificant; nor does it mean that I won't acknowledge her suffering. Humans, soldiers, shitty brats like you; we **all** live while _losing_ things precious to us. But you decided to keep living…to **keep fighting** even after losing your comrades. For a shitty brat who's overcome that, you're **strong**."

Eren keeps crying silently for the next few minutes, his body constantly jerking weakly as he lets all his feelings out through his tears. Noticing that his hands, cuffs and collar are utterly soaked, Levi grabs Eren's towel from the table and drops it on his face.

"If you get it then hurry up and wipe yourself. You really are a dirty brat, crying so hopelessly like that."

"…I'm sorry, Corporal Levi…"

"What for?"

"…At the very least…I wanted…to keep…fighting by your side…"

"Hmph. I will fight even if I'm alone, shitty brat."

"…I know...and that's...why…I wanted to ease...your suffering…even if just…a little…"

* * *

**Author's Note  
**

Thank you so much for reading! ;3 I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint. Personally, I like the previous one more, but hopefully it still follows on well.

Since it was not clear, let me clarify that Mikasa and Armin are DEAD. :'( they bravely fell in the line of duty.

Something else that I should point out is that I have not read SnK manga, and therefore there are likely to be many inconsistencies. When you find them please be so kind as to turn a blind eye.

I wonder if Levi is too OOC in this chapter? Well, I'd like to think that he's become a bit attached to Eren after fighting alongside him in so many battles. Not to mention, it's probably rare for him to experience a comrade dying so _slowly_ before his eyes, like in Eren's case(usually they get eaten in front of his eyes), so he's probably letting his guard down in a number of ways. Right? You agree right? The OOCness is justified...right...? ;_;

_Below is some self-satisfactional ranting. Though it is related to this fanfiction, feel free to skip it. (I just know I'm gonna read this 10 years down the line and hate myself.)_

Regarding what Levi said about "'suffering' is not something that can be compared", I did the silly novice fanfictioner thing and superimposed my own ideas onto the characters.

Actually, that idea all started with my stupid teenager attitude, when I felt like my parents were dumbasses for not realising that students also have pressure and worries etc. But really I was just throwing a tantrum at them. So basically, no matter how much shit the people around me have to deal with, I will always think "hey bitch I have my circumstances too", even if, comparatively, I appear to have less shit to deal with.

I also relate to this idea on a larger scale, such as between races or classes. For example, people often talk about history and compare 'this war' to 'that war' and talk about which was worse, but "fuck you all, you weren't part of it, so don't think you have the right to say who suffered more and who suffered less. Everyone is a victim in war. Everyone suffers in their own, horrible, painful way."

Sometimes people encourage themselves by saying "hey, see how much so-and-so has to go through? I don't even need to experience that, so I better learn from that and suck it in and try harder." Even though I can understand that train of thought, but in the end, if one can't take action on one's own will, then one's drive can only be so strong. There's no point thinking of how _someone else_ suffers to try and push oneself forward, because in the end one will suffer in one's own way.

In the end, I hope that people (most importantly, myself) can understand that **everyone** suffers. There is no winning or losing in who suffers more, but without a doubt everyone suffers, and one can never understand another's feelings of suffering. One can try to understand, but one simply can't...not _fully_. The most that one can do is to **acknowledge** another's suffering, and that is what I hope I can become able to do. (Deep down I just want people to acknowledge _my_ suffering, no matter how trivial and insignificant.)

Aaaaand thanks for reading :3 Really, thanks a lot.

Please look forward to the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**

Rated T for swearing.

* * *

Levi climbs onto his horse, then turns and bends down a little, stretching his arms out. His subordinate carefully lifts Eren, who Levi grabs and lifts onto the horse. Leaving both of Eren's legs on the left side of the horse, Levi lets him lean against his right arm and chest, while resting Eren's head against his shoulder. After adjusting Eren's position to make sure his weight is properly spread out, Levi holds his hand out to get the harness from his subordinate. He efficiently wraps the harness around Eren's waist, chest and under his arms, before looping it over his own shoulder and back. Checking that Eren is properly secured, Levi thanks his subordinate and finally picks up his horse's reins.

It wasn't a coincidence that Levi and his subordinate were able to handle Eren with such practised ease. After all, it felt like _long_ ago that Eren became unable to ride horses. At first he would ride behind someone else while holding on, but as he got even weaker, they tried using a cart to carry him, which turned out to be too slow and hindered progress, so in the end they went with this system. Initially Levi was against the idea, but there was no room to cater to his clean freak needs.

As Levi leads his horse towards the assembly point, he can't help but notice each and every one of Eren's shallow, irregular breaths as the boy's chest rises and falls. Every once in a while he also hears a moan. Levi notices that Eren's eyes, which are usually half open and unfocused, are shut tight today.

"If you cry on me I'll throw you off."

This single remark seems to bring comfort to Eren, and he laughs weakly under his breath. Soon Levi notices that Eren's breathing has become more regular, albeit still shallow.

.

.

"…Corporal…Levi…here…I go…"

"Yeah, go get 'em."

.

.

"**Haah…haah…haaah….**"

All the soldiers stand still, warily listening for even the slightest sound aside from their own heavy breathing, and the sizzling sound of evaporating Titan blood and corpses. When it appears that there are no Titans nearby, Erwin clears his throat to give orders.

"**Team 5! Take your horses and spread out in the Centre Protection Formation! As soon as a Titan is detected, fire your smoke signal and return! If any are injured then get somebody to swap now. All those remaining, treat the wounded!"**

As soon as he is finished, Erwin turns on his heel and heads towards Eren's direction. Eren's Titan form had been lying on the ground for the past twenty minutes or so. His wounds, where Titans had ruthlessly bitten into, are not healing. His huge body simply lay there, motionless, not healing, not steaming, not collapsing.

Just, motionless.

**What horrible sight.** To think…that a dying person laying motionless without steam arising from their wounds was so normal, but they had never realised how painful it would be to see Eren like that.

"Levi! Do it carefully!"

"I know!"

Levi had already finished slicing the flesh open, careful not to cut Eren in the process. Tearing the flesh of the nape off, he reaches in to pull Eren out.

"Oi Hanji! Give me a hand!"

The both of them carefully, but hastily, separate all of the red nerve-like strands from Eren's limp body and drag him out. Only after then, does the gigantic body begin sizzling to evaporate.

One of the injured soldiers comes over and looks nervously at Eren's body as Hanji slowly lowers it to Levi, who catches it from below and kneels on the ground, holding onto Eren's head and shoulders.

"Coporal…is…is Yeager….…?" Tears start running down the soldier's bloody cheeks, as a few more also gather around.

One can only be so hopeful, when they look at the state of Eren's body.

"Eren."

His feet have grown back, because he used his Titan power, but the dried blood smothering his face was no consolation.

"Oi Eren!"

His eyes, although open, were half rolled into the back of his head…definitely not the eyes of a living human.

"Oi wake up you shitty brat! Eren!"

Suddenly, Eren's body jerks upwards, as he coughs up more blood, the sticky red liquid splattering all over his own face. He keeps coughing for a while, weakly, painfully, as his eyes struggle to find focus.

"Eren! Can you hear me, Eren?!"

"Commander Erwin, since Yeager is conscious we should leave at once! We must treat his woun-"

"No…"

"Commander?"

"No, let him be."

"Eren!"

"…sq…d…lea…der…hanji…how man…y…_cough_…did…i…"

"You killed 59 Titans today, Eren. All lured over by your shitty Titan body."

"…f…ty…nine….…for my…las…ti…me…"

"Yeah, you did good Eren. So just take a shit and go to sleep."

Eren stares towards the sky blankly and lifelessly for a while, before tilting his head back to look at Levi. His expression tenses and warm tears start building up in his eyes.

"…i…i… st…ill…wanted…to f…fight…"

His overflowing tears run down his face and onto Levi's hands, but won't even wash away the blood staining his face.

"…i st…ill..wan…ed…to…fi…"

He struggles to lift his hand, to reach out, and grab Levi's shirt, as tears continue to overflow endlessly. As if acknowledging this childish gesture, Levi pulls Eren in closer.

"…for..them…"

His body trembles and convulses with each breath and each cry.

"…for mik…sa…armin…and ev…yone…else…as well…i…still…wanted t…f…f….…i…wan…t…d…to keep…fi…"

As his voice thins out, his grip becomes stronger. But soon, both disappear as his tears also dry up. Levi softly lays Eren's down. He stands up, turns on his heel, and announces to the troops.

"Let's go back."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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_And thus, the pitiful child breathed his last, in his final battle. _

_He came into the Recon Corps shouldering the hope of humanity. He survived by bearing the wills of his fallen comrades. But he died while lamenting that he had not lived up to either. _

_The boy's wish was simple. Unlike most soldiers, he did not wish to evade death. He wished to continue fighting. Such a simple wish, and yet…_

_In that case, what can I do for him? Left behind in this messed up world, what can I do for the pitiful child, who breathed his last in his final battle?_

_._

_._

-_owari_-

* * *

**Author's Note**

Thank you so very very much from the bottom of my heart for reading! ;_; Thank you!

This whole story just started with an idea of "Eren crying bitterly in his final moments on the battlefield, while repeating that he wanted to keep fighting". And therefore, yes, this is _**the end**_ of the story. I'm sorry that there is no continuation, no reincarnation/afterlife chapter, none of that (I'm sorry, I think I'm too affected by pixiv, so I'm worried about this). I wonder if it is a depressing ending? Because whether it is depressing or not depends entirely on how well I've written it, lol. I wanted it to be..._bitter_ when I set out to write it.

Please let me remind readers that I have **not** read any SnK manga. Also, I'm sorry that this chapter was so long. I really didn't want to omit anything, and didn't want to cut it into two either, so I just left it.

About Levi riding his horse with Eren, I have no idea how realistic or doable this is, but I'll just let fiction take care of it.

When Eren speaks to Levi for the last time before turning Titan, I had a mental image of him saying "ittekimasu" and Levi saying "ou, ittekoi", but that seemed hard to translate well, so I changed to "here I go" and "go get 'em". Just wanted you to know even though it's probably not important at all ;3

Regarding the Centre Protection Formation that Erwin mentions, it is a hopelessly optimistic plan that I came up with for the convenience of this story. Basically, despite the declining condition of Eren's human body, when he assumes his Titan form he is still very strong. Therefore, thanks to his overwhelming power, Recon Corps have been achieving ridiculous kill counts. Not only that, because all Titans within a certain radius will be lured in by Eren's Titan form (to eat him), once they manage to defeat all of those, there will be no Titans nearby for a while. Therefore Erwin/I devised this genius plan to have a number of soldiers spread out in a circle around them, the 'centre', and keep an eye out for any approaching Titans. If any are detected, they shoot a smoke signal to warn everyone. If not, Recon Corps can use the time and assured safety to secure Eren (especially important since he started weakening), treat wounded, regroup, and do some (namesake) Recon. (Actually, I made all this up just so I could have Eren cry on the battlefield with everyone around, without Titans attacking and ruining the moment.)

In the end, I think war is just so terrible, because in the end most people die not knowing what they suffered so much for...is what I imagine (because I have no experience). Of course, main characters get the privilege of not dying such a death (in most cases), but Eren wanted to fight more than anyone else, and he arguably had more power to fight than everyone else, but in death he is just another human, with regrets. So in the end, what can one do for someone who died, full of bitter emotions, crying in regret?

Once again, thank you so SOOO much for reading! It just makes me so happy~ I hope that this was an interesting fanfiction, and that you were able to enjoy it even a little.


End file.
